Healing can be gentle and tender; but certain healing acts on an inner level of the self, racing like a cold wave to resolve us, before washing us up on the beach called tomorrow, but under a different sun…
(1000 words, a ten-minute read)
We all progress through an inner journey in our lives. We may not work with any specific system of self-development, but we come to the same perspective about ourselves. We come to know, with certainty, that there are things about us that have far more importance than anything else. These are qualities, rather than things. They do not relate to things; to what we might have, how secure we are. They are concerned with an ‘easiness’ (or not) of our inner state, our ‘me-ness’.
When we enter this awareness, usually in our middle years, we are on a path to self-knowledge, whose gravitational force becomes stronger as we age. True, there is a contest between bodily health and focus at that point – as shown by the increasing take-up of combined Eastern systems, such as Yoga, or derivates like Pilates. A daily walk confers much of the same benefits. Whatever method we adopt, the gains are reflected within as a calmer interior.
If we inquire into where unease comes from, we are pointed at a many-coloured quilt of mind and emotions, made from pieces of our experience, solidified as responses. There are desires, regrets, resolutions and powerful insights woven into this fabric. The whole of it comprises the self, the personality, and, although it feels complicated, it really isn’t – once we find the dynamic states in there, and begin to separate the dross from the real.
The real is vitally important, and we are compelled to approach it in stages. These stages reveal a pattern of ‘really important things’ – things with a power to change that interior state and make us renewed, within – which then changes the without…
The real is based on truth. Our relationship to truth is subtle, and, initially at least, learned. We are brought up in societies where many of the most important ‘powerful people’ lie. They lie all the time, carving and shaping the societal world in a way that protects their existence as liars. We all lie, but becoming aware of our lying is a key part of putting real life, as opposed to illusion, back into our interior state. We may not have the power to make our societies true, but we do have the power to make ourselves true.
We don’t want zealots here. There’s nothing as deadly as a zealot, clinging to his or her first vision of real truth and preaching how important it is to give up our present lives. We want gentleness, we want sharing and, above all, we want compassion…
Compassion is one of the great discoveries of the land inside us. Like anything else we presume to know, compassion has hidden depths. Compassion has two apparent faces: the one that soothes the friend who is going through illness, providing a reassurance that things will be okay, when we know they will not; and the the other, deeper face, that acts like a silent twin of truth.
If we have any ‘spiritual’ intentions, we must find our own truths. I’m not talking about the methods of development we may choose. I’m referring to an interior capability to ‘feel’ the truth of any situation. It can come as a shock to find out that we have an inner organ that knows when something is true or not; that knows when we are bending our complex and sophisticated past to accommodate something that is really an indulgence, rather than what we have set ourselves to do.
This is hard, really hard. But it is the way forward, and no amount of false compassion, the pat of self-reassurance that we have lots of life left to get it right, will substitute. Conditions arise in our lives for a reason. Life is an interior school of self-development, as millennia of wisdom has taught. People on a path of self-development are wise, no matter how far along that path they are. They listen to life, reading in its events, good or bad, what they should be learning on their individual journeys.
And it is here that the little-known power of real compassion comes into play. Compassion for ourselves will help us face the truth of our lives. It acts like a ship that reveals a bigger world. But its direction can only be towards the Truth, and in that powerful voyage, its engines have to be merciless in carrying us forward.
Once we face truth, nurture it and and learn to make it our constant advisor, we are set on a course, and the mighty engines of self-compassion, matched to the compass of truth, assume their real power, which is to make the brave happen… eventually healing the wounds that seem less and less important as we gaze out on a truly new day.
©Stephen Tanham, 2021.
Stephen Tanham is a Director of the Silent Eye, a modern journey through the forest of personality to the sunrise of Being
I am struggling a little with this, Steve… sometimes knowing the truth doesn’t always help us to cope with it…
That’s true, Jaye. But ‘sitting with’ that pain, letting it be and not resisting, will lead to the arising of new inner states of depth and calmness.
I do sometimes feel that, Steve…
If you follow that feeling, you will find that there is a response from a very deep part of you. It will release something more powerful than the hurt. But it was the compassion that pointed the way…
Reblogged this on Stuart France.
Thank you, both xx
Steve, well done. These are two powerful tandem sentences, that require re-reading to get the full impact.
“Compassion for ourselves will help us face the truth of our lives. It acts like a ship that reveals a bigger world.”
To me this akin to being honest with ourself, but also cutting ourself some slack. Often, we are our own worst critic. We do not realize the context that others are dealing with the same kinds of issues, so we need not be so hypercritical of our own shortcomings. In so doing, it gives us more courage (or the ship as you call it) to see a bigger world.
Keith
Thank you, Keith. Yes, we do need the learn the right ‘kindness’ towards our self. It’s a fine line!
I remember that moment of realization, when I stopped “turning heads.” Just as any revelation, at first I felt as if I’d lost something precious. Then, as the years went by and I began contemplating ideas spanning beyond this world. It feels so freeing to look beyond the confines of “self” and “world.” It seems that every day brings with it a beauty I wasn’t able to see in a mirror.
That’s quite a response, Floridaborne. ‘Lost something precious’ indicates a classic ego-self feeling that we all get. But then you found you’d found something greater, though of a quite different ‘order’. And the confines of ‘self’ and ‘world’ were simply the smaller picture you had of it, but which was now outgrown. The Self had inherited the ‘Kingdom’. Thank you. Wonderful comment.