
It was the morning coffee conversation, the one where I perch on the end of my son’s bed while he considers getting out of it. Even fuelled by good, freshly ground beans, that can take some time, especially if we start talking… and that invariably happens.
Today, the subject that caught out attention was the media…. TV, films, books, the works… and how fiction inevitably draws us in to a place where our own lives can seem bland in comparison to their imaginary ‘reality’. From the formulaic drama of romantic novels, to the condensed ‘reality’-bytes of the soaps, their storylines raise unconscious expectations and, in contrast, our own experience of life can appear to be lacking in the essential ingredients, plot twists and the rollercoasting emotions that are their stock in trade.
No good tale goes from beginning to end without a well-planned story arc of highs and lows. Even when a book or film spans an entire lifetime in a couple of hundred pages or minutes, telling only the highlights and barely hinting at the calm years in between, it is the peaks and troughs that capture our attention and engage our emotions… and it is by those that we can be tempted to judge our own lives. Vague dissatisfaction and the insidious thought that we are ‘missing something’ creeps in, even though our logical minds and fragile hearts would really not want to be put through the proverbial mill with the intensity displayed in fiction.
For most of us, the majority of our lives will be spent doing things that are routine, humdrum, necessary… but not necessarily dramatic. Vast swathes of time are swallowed by tasks and actions that barely register. Even though all such moments seem to be stored in memory, they are generally relegated to levels so deep that they only resurface when some chain of association dredges them up again. In contrast, the times of joy, perfect peace, pain and grief seem much easier to recall, and, were we to write our life stories, it is of these moments that we would tell.
It is not the fault of book or film that we may end up questioning whether or not our lives match up to those of other, albeit fictional, lives… it is something within us. Fiction can be a great teacher, allowing us to safely experience situations we might not otherwise meet and, from that imaginary encounter, we may learn to understand and empathise with others. It only becomes a problem when we begin to make the invidious comparisons that change our expectations and leave us with a hazy fear that we are less than who we are.
No-one knowing my son’s story would ever say it lacked drama, yet he has felt that uneasy dissatisfaction after watching a film. My own life had had plenty of ups and downs. In fact, most lives, if condensed to just the ‘good bits’ or major events would make gripping stories. Yet, unlike the characters of book or screen, it is precisely the quiet, in-between moments that make life so worth living.
The daily touch of sun, snow or rain on your skin, the smile of a child, the first time you wash a pair of someone else’s socks and go all gooey and tender… Watching a ladybird, a butterfly, or the birds nesting in spring. Snuggling with a dog, the fingers of an infant curling around yours, or the touch of a hand reaching out in the night for your own… These are not the big things of which movies are made, nor are they the plot points that would sell a book. These are the essence of the human experience…and far more beautiful than any fiction.
❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Stuart France.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh so true. Our lives are filled with wonder and drama every day, as long as we look at it that way.
LikeLike
There is enough drama for me these days just walking the dog 😉 x
LikeLike
Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
LikeLike
Thank you, Jaye x
LikeLike
All those perfect little things that make life worth living…
LikeLike
They are the most precious of moments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I have had more than enough drama in my lifetime.. but you are so right…which is why I enjoy a series more on television that a film these days. Watching 8 hour long episodes allows time for the story to even out with dramatic pauses at reasonable intervals. We watched a series recently based on a book having seen the movie several years ago and enjoyed so much more as it was inline with the novel. Have pressed for later today… great post Sue..hugsxx
LikeLike
Thanks, Sally. I always thought it would get a bit boring if life were simply calm… the last few years have changed my feelings on that quite a bit 😉 xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Quite…I find that now I go into the vortex for a couple of days and fight my way out again as quickly as possible. xxxx
LikeLike
I gave up fighting it a long time ago… I rather like knowing it can chuck me out anywhere it likes 😉 xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Warrior woman….xxxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful thoughts to ponder and practice, Sue…
LikeLike
Thanks, Bette.
LikeLike
So true Sue. And such a beautiful post ❤
LikeLike
Thanks, Debby ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
A beautiful post, Sue. I’m so glad my life is drama-free and full of amazing ordinariness. 🙂
LikeLike
Nothing is ordinary when you appreciate it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful post!
LikeLike
Thank you, Jennie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Sue.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully written, Sue and very true. And the older you get (trust me!) the more precious all those little things become.
LikeLike
Thanks, Joy. Having spent an unexpected and unpredictable afternoon with my granddaughters, I can attest to that 🙂
LikeLike
This is really a good thing because when the merry-go-round of work and adrenaline ends, that is what is left. If you are at peace with the ordinary things in life, this kind of “nothing special but really, everything IS special” life is the best. But you need to be ready to live that way and not feel that somehow, you should be out doing something more important,
LikeLiked by 1 person
I should mention that I often wonder if the “more important” stuff I did really WAS more important. It paid better, but was it more important? Really?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Somehow this conversation or post led me to think of dreams, and how, in our dreams, we are free to be all the characters in the “plays,” and to experiment with the outcomes in many different ways. Though sometimes they might seem like nightmares, I believe they are not really, but they ARE ways that we can understand some of the things we do in life that perhaps don’t make sense, or perhaps we have questions about. It is a little like studying The Silent Eye Mystery School. Sometimes you have to turn the dreams over and over before you come to understand the message. I cannot remember ever having a mundane dream. They were all adventures or some were nightmares, but they were all symbolic in meaning. Some of everyday life is like that too if we examine it patiently, waiting for the answers to come from what we slowly observe after the fact, and sometimes during the fact. Thank you kindly.
LikeLike
There is always meaning beyond the obvious, and beneath the surface, if we an take time to think and feel our way. x
LikeLike