“I dunno… It’s still not right.”
“I did it exactly as you said this time.”
“Even so, there’s something missing…”
My son has once again asked me to do the impossible. It is, you might think, just a small thing. Something that I should be able to do without the slightest trouble. He wants me to make him a cup of tea.
The problem is that the tea in question is the exotically spiced chai masala with which he fell in love in India and which I have never tasted. For him it is the stuff of memory, conjuring visions of people and places, scents and sounds…if we brew it even close to right.
For me, it is a mystery. I have never been to India. The ‘chai’ I have encountered here is a pallid imitation of the aromatic brew he remembers, redolent with cardamom, cloves and pepper. I do not know what I am supposed to be brewing.
Research online is no help. So far it has yielded a hundred different versions of how best to brew the chai, from starting with the spices and blending your own, to the use of tea bags…which simply do not come close. The proportion of milk to water, the cream content, the time to simmer the spices…every possible variant is available…and we have tried a good many of them. The tea we finally settled upon comes close… but has only yielded a few cups that have held the magic to carry memory across continents.
My son, meanwhile, in his search for the perfect cup of chai, has developed a passion for the stuff. There is what looks suspiciously like an altar to tea in his home, where arcane potions are brewed that fill the air with fragrance. Turmeric, ginger, rose petals and oranges… teas that are green, black and white… a far cry from the classic mahogany brew I grew up with in Yorkshire. There are spices in there that I would never have associated with the tea caddy.
“I know what’s missing,” said my son after another abortive attempt. I was all ears…we have tried just about everything, turning his kitchen into an alchemist’s den and me into a frazzled, frustrated hobbit. “The secret ingredient….”
“Oh?”
“Love.” And there it was.
He was absolutely right. Chai is a chore… while for my son, it is a magic carpet back to joy. The best cups of chai are the ones he has made. The chai holds no emotional connection for me, except that I would like to get it right for him. I cook for him every day, and love is part of that process, both my love of my son and my love of real and exotic cookery and that emotion finds its way into the food… and affects how I work.
It is easy enough to understand why we enjoy doing the things we love and how hard it can be to do the things we dislike doing, but it is also easy to forget or overlook the simple fact that to render a service or perform a chore with love means that it is no longer a chore.
Throughout our lives we are asked to do things we would normally avoid, tackle jobs we do not wish to do or at which we would normally cringe. When we do them for love, there is little thought of how it makes us feel… we just get on with it. Whether it is cleaning up after a sick child, burning the midnight oil to get something finished or going out of our way for a friend, love takes the sting out of most things.
We can do the same thing for ourselves too, if we believe that we too are worthy of the efforts of our love…and many of us don’t. We do not even think about it, but if we lavished the same care on ourselves as we do on those we love, life might feel a little different.
Long ago I read of the Path of the Hearthfire…an approach to life that takes the little things of every day and turns them into acts of love that go beyond the earthly emotion. It is a truly magical path, perfectly suited to the hectic lifestyles we lead, with the responsibilities of work, the running of a home and the raising of children. The smallest thing, from dusting the furniture, to walking the dog, can become a sacred act if approached with love and, in doing so, we bring ourselves closer to the Source, the fountain of being from which we draw our lives.
Love adds something to whatever it is we are doing… an indefinable quality, that ‘secret ingredient’ that makes us take that little extra time, a little extra care… and that can make all the difference, even to a cup of tea.
Photos: Nick Verron
Hehehe. Apart from the love… the real secret is the tea!
If you can get a hold of Mamri in the local Indian deli, there may be a love overload… Something to do with the way it is cured… cheap as chips in India, just as ubiquitous, and the only tea used in chai. As opposed to the spice combination, which just doesn’t vary across the sub-continent, but from street to street!
Good luck! 🙂
We don’t have an Indian deli here sadly, H, and I’m pretty sure from my research that the spices are personal to each tea maker. But I’ll set Nick to looking 😉
I agree a hearty dose of Love makes all the difference in cooking and preparing food. When I pay attention, I try to flavor all my dishes with it. Now you’ve got me craving a good cup of chai tea, not that I’ve probably had a proper one… Will you share the recipe once you two decide on the right one?
If we ever find the right dosage or blend, I will, Althea 😉
Great post and really beautiful photos!!
Thank you, the photos are my son’s.
Yes, great post and so true!! Love the photos, too. I am addicted to India and chai though never been there. There is an Indian Chai mix on Amazon that is soooo good. Made in India. Jaipur Garden. My Indian friend sent it to me and she used to make chai the long way which takes about an hour. But this is actually better. It is one of the highlights of my day to share it with Hubbie.
I’llhave to let Nick know about that one, Ellen, thank you. We don’t seem to have it on Amazon UK , but we may be able to find it somewhere 😉
Many apologies…. It’s Jaipur Avenue, not Jaipur Garden!!
Thanks, Ellen… I’ll see if I can find it. Amazon don’t have it in the UK and won’t ship from .com. xx
Here is the long way of doing it if I remember correctly given to me by my Indian friend. Put 2 cups water 1 cup milk (you can use 2 cups milk if you like it creamier) to simmer for about 1/2 an hour, stirring until it is a reduction. Then add 1/2 tsp. fennel, 1/2 tsp. ground clove, 1/2 tsp. (or more if you like) cardamom, 1/2 tsp. all spice and a pinch of black pepper. Add a good strong Indian black tea and sugar as you like and let steep. Then strain out the tea leaves and drink. I think that’s it. xxellen
Thank you for that, Ellen… we’ll have to try that as it has fennel and allspice…a new combination 🙂
I have recipes from Pakistan – family recipes, not the food in restaurants – and make them occasionally when I’m feeling ‘homesick’ for Karachi but they never quite taste as they did when I ate them with the family there. Those people are definitely the missing ingredient for me!
I have a feeling that may have something to do with Nick’s problem too. It was the people who made him part of their lives that made the whole trip so special.
Love is a strange emotion, Sue. It digs its way deeply into your heart and we do all sorts of amazing and self sacrificing things for it especially when it is love for a child.
Once touched by it, you are forever changed.
Really hard to bring back and repeat the same experience from abroad. I’ve never had a tiramisu that comes close to the ones I ate in Venice. I keep trying however! 😉
I think being there changes everything… but that is no reason not to try 😉
Well said, Sue. Love makes it sweet, we just have to add it.
I’m still no nearer making that perfet cuppa though 🙂
😀
Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
What the tea needed.
Thank you very much for reblogging, Suzanne.
I made ginger tea for my American neighbors and they just loved it. And as you said, love is the best ingredient of all❤️. Amazing post!
My son is experiementing with ginger tea too…he loved that in India.
😀 sounds great. I am sure it will be delightful. If he adds black pepper balls, abt 6-8 (2 cups), tea acquires a different flavor. He can try it too later on.😀
Pepper seems to really give it warmth. I would never have thought about pepper in tea, but what it adds is wonderful. 🙂
Yes Sue. Absolutely 😀
🙂