We had been engaged in one of those long existential debates, discussing life, death and the possibilities of what might come before and after. The debate had gone on for some time, discussion had gone deep and we had covered some serious stuff, including the changing perspective of the years, fuelled by my impending birthday and the universal fragility of life.
“You should make a video,” said my son.
For a moment, I was flattered, feeling that perhaps I had acquitted myself so well that he saw my thoughts as worthy of being shared. But that moment was a fleeting one… he took out his phone.
“What, now?”
“Yeah.”
“But I’m a mess…” Vanity is universal when faced with a lens. Or that’s my excuse.
“Well, I’d rather you were sort of natural anyway…” It all clicked into place then. So much for flattery.
“You mean, for when I die?” My health may be a bit unstable at present, but I’m certainly not planning on dying at the moment. He had the decency to look a tad embarrassed.
“Well, yes… but don’t feel obliged to die anytime soon…”
“Thanks…”
“…I haven’t given you permission yet.” This is true. As he is both my son and my employer, such an extended leave of absence requires his approval and he has made his feelings quite clear on the matter.
By this time, the camera is running and I face the immortalising lens with no make-up, haystack hair and wearing my oldest clothes. We continue the debate, though in a far more lighthearted manner. Even so, it feels odd. Bad enough being recorded, which I dislike at the best of times, but to know you are being filmed as a memory for when you are dead is quite a strange feeling.
One of the things we had been discussing was the value of remembering that physical life is finite. It is a concept that must be taken from rather abstract idea we generally live with and transformed into a practical application. It is not a morbid or depressing perspective, as some might think, but is actually liberating as it shifts the focus from the transient to the eternal.
With a conscious awareness of the inevitable ending of this phase of existence, life and every experience in it, good or bad, takes on a new depth and richness. Nothing is to be missed through inattention, every experience is to be savoured and appreciated, because there is an awareness, a backdrop to living, that constantly reminds you that each moment could be the last.
And, as the camera captured our laughter, I was getting a graphic lesson in bringing that concept into reality.
It begs the question of how we want to be remembered when we are no longer in the world. Do we want to leave a mark on society? Be missed? Create immortality through art or a legacy of scientific thought? Maybe our immortality comes through our bloodline… our children and their children? Or perhaps we wish only to be remembered with a smile.
But why should we want to be remembered at all? Perhaps it is the fear of utter annihilation. Or simply the ego, the personality we wear in life, programmed for its own survival, that seeks to perpetuate itself… and cannot accept that life as we know it can carry on without us? No matter how well-known or well loved we are, unless we do leave some kind of concrete legacy to posterity, in a few generations we will be no more than an entry in a ledger or database somewhere. And even that will one day disappear.
Whether we believe there is no more than this physical existence, or in the survival of the soul, we cannot escape the cycle or the recycling of life. One thing is certain, in the physical universe, nothing is ever utterly lost. From plankton to planets, everything that comes into being will evolve and come to an end. Its component parts will be returned to whence they arose and become the building blocks of something new. Personally, I believe that also holds true of the soul. We do not need to seek immortality. We carry eternity within us.
Yes but with hay hair! Too cruel. Then I think that if you want authenticity putting on a show wouldn’t do it. Instead you relax enough to laugh and that as well as your thoughts is captured, the true un prepared, un adorned i all your honesty. What a gift to leave. And when at 94 years you look at it you will say I was a slip of a girl with no distractions, and you will be pleased to have been true. 😘
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I doubt that even at 94 I would see me as a slip of a girl now 🙂 But I would rather be myself, whatever that is, than play to the camera. 🙂
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As I said the girl made the right move.x
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Not that I was given a lot of choice 😉 x
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Pah! Over rated if you ask me.
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😀
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And age is relative, I am certain my Mother believes I am still a girl she can control and I am six *cough* ty.
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I’m not far off… and still feel a girl most of the time. Apart from the body, which seems to be going off at a tangent somehow 😉
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Ill swap.
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I think I’d rather the agile mind than the joints…both would have been nice for a while longer though 😉
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Tell me about it 😣
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🙂
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We do carry eternity with us. Oral history is our most common and important tool to pass down what we know. I filmed my Mother and it was very awkward for her, too.
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The oral tradition is the one thing technology will not entirely take from us, I hope. Too many things like letters and journals are disappearing.Film is a very good way to capture memories.
(You were in spam again, Jennie…)
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Hmm… I rarely check my spam. Better do that soon.
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I check daily…recently, a lo of friends have ended up in there.
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i think most people fear being forgotten. And we know those memories only last for 2-3 generations. Me? I hope my teaching is something that gets passed on. I’m sure your video is a winner!
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Memory is such a short thing… even if we leave something for posterity to know us by, ‘we’ would be forgotten soon enough.
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I’m not sure that anything I’ve ever said on video is worth a second glance, Sue. I think what your son did was wonderful, he grabbed the moment you were being you.xx
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I’m not sure that anything I said was either…but that wan’t his point, I think. It is still a weird feeling though 😉 xx
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“We do not need to seek immortality. We carry eternity within us.” I hope you said that on the video because it’s certainly a wonderful legacy to leave behind. (But NOT, I also hope, for quite some time yet!)
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I have no idea what we said on film… I haven’t watched it back. 😉
And no, they are not getting rid of me so easily. I intend to be a crichety old woman at them first 😉
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thanks for sharing, Jaye x
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You need to stick around for a good while yet, if only to remind the rest of us why we are here in the first place!
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😀 I’ll do my best!
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“We carry Eternity within us”. How very, very true Sue! Memory is such a powerful gift that we sometimes fear to lose it at our peril, a deeply human reaction. Sharing
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Thank you, Jan.
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Profound words Sue.
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Reblogged this on strangegoingsonintheshed and commented:
“We do not need to seek immortality. We carry eternity within us.” The parting words in this wonderfully sensitive and poignant post by Sue Vincent.
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Lovely idea of Nick’s – even if you did have hay hair and no make up. I found your last line very comforting.
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Thanks, Mary, I’m glad. Mind, trust Nick to decide to film on a bad hair day…not that I ever have good hair days 😉
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A lovely post, Sue. I love how Nick challenges you, and then these great posts appear.
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I enjoy our discussions, Diana… we both get chance to explore new concepts.
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I think he should have at least let you put on a little makeup. The camera is a cruel beast. No need to make it worse.
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We’d have lost the moment though…and no amount of make-up helps me on camera 😉
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I’ve read that the reason we want to live forever is that in one form or another we do live forever. The soul doesn’t die. 🙂 — Suzanne
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That’s why I see little point in immortalising the body 😉
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I see no problem with immortalizing a memory of a person as it serves as a good example I see no harm in cremations as these days it saves a lot of expense. Funeral costs are becoming outlandish I don’t believe in idolization of people. A small memorial service is okay but is more for the survivors than the deceased. —- Suzanne
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If those who remain wish to do so, I have no problem with that either. it can be both a comfort and a fitting tribute. My problem lies with seeking to immortalise ourselves.
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Deep thoughts tinged with humor – a winner! Fate, or God, will point us where we need to go next.
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We are never without direction.
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Reblogged this on Stuart France.
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Nice that someone wants to memorialize for a future day and more than a little amusing. We are eternal and nothing is lost. Lovely stirring post.
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Thanks, Chris. I agree, nothing can be wholly lost… it only chances its state and form.
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