I’ve been watching the fish again. The aquarium is next to my desk and where I would once stare into space, waiting for inspiration, I now watch the fish and find my mind swimming with them. Just as the fish can move up and down as easily as forward and back, a mind moves in more dimensions than mere surface thoughts, tracing patterns from apparently unconnected threads.
I keep daydreaming about a new home for them. The monster plecostomus is getting so big now that it will soon be a necessity… either in a bigger tank or with another fish-lover. And as I’m quite fond of the strange, prehistoric-looking creature who watches me through the glass with more intelligence than you would expect from a fish, I know which solution I would prefer. Oddly enough, the tank I would like, though it is much bigger and much more spacious for the fish, would also take up far less floor space in my little room. Getting the perfect form for both our needs would make it fit… perfectly.
Mind you, if and when I manage to find a new tank, it isn’t just a case of swapping them over. Little did I know when I adopted the fish that I would have to gain a knowledge of the nitrogen cycle, the chemical components of water, before and after fish, and an acceptance that I have to actively encourage the breeding of bacteria to maintain the tank’s health. That goes against every housewifely instinct. And it takes time, work and patience. Yet, in order to be fit for purpose, it has to fit the needs of that purpose, not my preconceptions.
For some reason, that idea called to mind a passage from Dion Fortune’s Moon Magic, one of the best works of magical fiction ever written, in my opinion, giving a glimpse behind the veil that has always shrouded ritual magic. The passage I was thinking of tells of when Lilith, a priestess of Isis, enters her new home and sees the moonlight streaming in through the windows. She realises that she is ‘on her contacts’. The author explains that many people feel that they must invoke the goddess first, then build the temple, but that, in fact, it must be the other way round; the temple must be prepared and the deity will indwell it when the time is right.
It has always made sense to me, that passage. You would not attempt to drink wine without some kind of vessel to contain it. You could use a paper cup or a crystal goblet, or even drink straight from the bottle…the appearance of the vessel matters little, only its fitness for purpose determines whether or not it can be used. You may think the wine more beautiful in the goblet, but that is only because both outer and inner forms combine to create something that is neither one nor the other, but has become more than the sum of its parts.
Either way, the vessel has to come before the wine is poured. Just like a new fish tank has to be cycled before the fish can call it home. Any cutting of corners, and the wine will be spilled and lost… or the fish will sicken and die.
It is the same thing with a lot of the modern spiritual practices, especially those that are for sale. They promise the earth and their adherents raise their eyes to whatever version of heaven they are taught to see. They read the book or take the short course and are told that they have only to call upon the divine and it will come. And then they are disappointed when it doesn’t.
You have to make the vessel before the wine is poured…and we ourselves are the vessel that must be fit for purpose. We do not have to be sparkling crystal goblets… we can be rough cups of clay and still hold the light. How much we can hold depends on how deep the cup may be and how wide its brim… but that is up to us. The vessel we craft is never finished… we are always works in progress.
Love this, also, I believe I have a copy of Moon Magic yet to read in my pile of books. 🙂
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Read Sea Priestess first, if you haven’t already 🙂
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I have, and I loved it!
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Moon Magic next then. 🙂
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Beautiful post, Sue. These are always my favorites, the gentle and reflective musing about the nature of life and spirit. Love it.
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Thanks, Diana. The mind seems to know more than we do when allowed to wander.
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Sue, this is wonderful!! Really made me think!
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Thanks, Dorinda.I’m convinced everyone should watch fish daily 😉
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I agree. Their calming movements would do wonders for those of us who move too quickly, in our daily lives, allowing us to just float for a moment 🙂
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I wouldn’t be without mine now 🙂
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Reblogged this on Stuart France.
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Definitely a work in progress here. just relieved that a rough cup of clay is an acceptable vessel
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You could say that earthenware is the most natural material 😉
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
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I miss watching fish, finding it harder than ever to find something to inspire me. As for being fit for purpose, that may never happen now as the way forward is not yet clear. Perhaps I should read Dion Fortune again!
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Dion is always worth re-reading. I never fail to find something new as every time I re-read, I am older and have seen more…and have more to bring to the table.
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She helped me a lot in my younger years, high time I visit her again!
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I do on a regular basis. Never a wasted read.
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Another lovely, thoughtful piece, Sue. I look forward to your adventure of getting a new aquarium.
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I just await its appearance at the right price on ebay, Noelle 😉
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