Flash…

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…Quicker than Jumpin’ Jack… the long, green, hairy foot left the Blue Sphere of nowhere and re-assembled before our eyes.

We tried to turn.

We tried to flee.

But we could not.

We could not move.

We were held in suspended animation whilst the Water Wheel of Impossibility kept on turning.

A voice in our head said:

“If you promise not to turn and flee I will let go.”

“We promise,” we said in our head too because our mouth would not move either.

The sense of suspended animation left us as quickly as it had arrived and we were forced to look at the creature before us.

If the feet were long, green and hairy, the legs were not.

They were instead short, fat, black and hairy.

If the legs were short, fat, black and hairy, the torso was not.

It was instead squat, bulbous pink, and hairy.

The head was small and thin, and long, and the blue face was… beaming.

It was also very hairy.

Orange hair.

The creature extended its long, thin, hairy green arm and raised its hand in the gesture of ‘fear not’.

It looked like a composite creature but if that is what it was, then evidently,  it still had a sense of humour.

“I lose so many like that,” said the voice in our head.

“Like what?” we said in our mind again, already finding it much easier to communicate this way.

“Through lies,” the voice smiled, “they promise not to turn and flee but when I let go they do just that.”

“And then what?” we thought apprehensively.

“And then they disappear, never to be seen again. If you’d never asked, you’d have never known just how close you came to wandering the interstellar regions of forgotten black space forever.”

Our mind gulped.

The voice continued, “But that is them and this is you and you’re still here…”

The Blue Face beamed again and seemed genuinely pleased with us.

“Do we get a reward?” we asked even more apprehensively.

“Depends how good you are at hazard.”

Our mind groaned.

“Three wishes.”

“Really?”

“There’s a twist.”

“We thought there might be.”

“You get three wishes, but the wishes you choose have to be truly life-changing otherwise the wish reverts to me.”

We thought for a while…

“Agreed?”

He seemed quite insistent, if it was a he…

“We transcended gender many suns ago.”

Our mind groaned again but we agreed.

What the hell else were we to do…?

“Now, now,” said the voice in our head, “and you were doing so well too…”

“Apologies.”

“Apology accepted…”

Phew.

“…Your first wish?” …

HM15 003

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